"If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,” you are doing well.  But if you show partiality, you are committing sin and are convicted by the law as transgressors.  For whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become accountable for all of it.  For he who said, “Do not commit adultery,” also said, “Do not murder.” If you do not commit adultery but do murder, you have become a transgressor of the law.  So speak and so act as those who are to be judged under the law of liberty.  For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment." (James 2:8-13)

I've been reeling with the onslaught of social media posts regarding the City Clerk in Kentucky who refused to sign marriage licenses for gay couples.  She apparently said that her refusal was based on her belief that gay marriage is a sin, and she did not want to condone that sin.  Many, many 'Christians' have jumped on that bandwagon in support of this woman's decision.  They correctly interpret scripture as condemning homosexuality. Unfortunately, they ignore the rest of scripture which deals with the love the Father has shown to us through Jesus Christ, how we are to act toward each other, and why.

I believe this section in James speaks to what our response, as children of the most high God, should be toward 'sinners' - yes, even those who sin through homosexuality.

"If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,” you are doing well."  We are commanded to love our neighbor as ourself to really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture.  So I ask you;  is the gay man down the road your neighbor?  Jesus answered the question of exactly who we should consider a neighbor when asked.  In Luke 10:22-37, Jesus answers this questions through the parable of the Good Samaritan.  

"And behold, a lawyer stood up to put him to the test, saying, “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” He said to him,“What is written in the Law? How do you read it?” And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.” And he said to him, “You have answered correctly; do this, and you will live.”  But he, desiring to justify himself, said to Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”  Jesus replied, “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, who stripped him and beat him and departed, leaving him half dead. Now by chance a priest was going down that road, and when he saw him he passed by on the other side. So likewise a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was, and when he saw him, he had compassion. He went to him and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he set him on his own animal and brought him to an inn and took care of him. And the next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper, saying, ‘Take care of him, and whatever more you spend, I will repay you when I come back.’ Which of these three, do you think, proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?” He said, “The one who showed him mercy.” And Jesus said to him, “You go, and do likewise.”

Who is the neighbor to the gay couple down the street?  According to Jesus, it is the one who shows mercy to them.  Jesus showed mercy to us in that, while we were yet (still) sinners, He died for us.  He didn't wait to show mercy to us until we were no longer in sin! This isn't rocket science, or unknowable theology.  Mercy triumphs over judgement! Jesus told us what to do quite plainly.  "You go, and do likewise."

I have a beautiful friend who is incredibly transparent; with her struggles, with her victories, with her faith journey.  Inspired by her, I decided to try transparency.  I didn’t like it.  Here’s what happened.

For some time now, the Lord has been teaching me to see His gifts in every day life.  "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change."(James 1:17 ESV) It doesn’t say every spiritual gift, although we know all of those come from him.  It doesn’t say every ‘big’ gift, although we do give Him credit for those.  It says every gift.  Every kind word, every front parking space when you’re exhausted, every green light when you’re driving your sick friend home;  every good gift is from God. 

This realization has created in me a thankful heart for everything my Father gives me, big or small.  What an incredible thing to realize everything good in my life is from the Lord!  It becomes much, much easier for praise to continually be in my mouth when I’m thanking Him for his constant, consistent gifts.

The next step in this process began a few months ago.  “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.”(Romans 12:15 ESV)  I realized that my Father has many children, and He gives them good gifts, just like He gives them to me.  Sometimes, He even gives someone I know a good gift that I wanted, and doesn’t give it to me.  I don’t know about you, but rejoicing with someone who has been given something I prayed for, but didn’t receive, is hard.  I realized that I, while theoretically understanding that my Father has millions of children, wanted to be treated as His only child.  Clearly, I needed to change.  (The second part of that verse is important.  But that's another blog.)

So the Lord has softened my heart, and opened my heart-eyes, to see good things happening to other people as gifts from Him, just as I learned to see His gifts to me.  And, slowly, I am beginning to praise Him for His gifts to others.  Even when He gives them something I wanted instead of giving it to me.

So I shared an abbreviated version of the above with a lady I met today.  Her response was something like 'I’m glad you’re finally learning that, I learned that YEARS ago.  My pastor just preached a sermon about it!  He said it indicates there are things in your life that need cleansing, and that you need peace.'  Ouch.   It isn’t that she was wrong.  She wasn’t.  My Father peals back onion petals to reveal the next thing that needs sanctifying.  I’m very thankful He doesn’t dump everything He wants changed on me at once.  I would buckle under the weight!  I realize there are issues that need change, and it is getting both easier and more spontaneous to thank Him for gifts to others as I would thank Him for gifts to me.  I just didn’t want to hear such a blunt ‘its about time’!  

So now I have TWO things to work through:  rejoicing with others when God gives them good gifts, and taking with grace and wisdom true words that sting.  One more onion petal yanked out.  That’s gonna leave a mark.

‘Better is open rebuke than hidden love.  Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy…Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.’ Prov. 27:6, 17 Even a new friend, I suppose. 

How God Heals

     At the beginning of this cancer journey, I had to face well-meaning (at least I hope they were) people telling me God does not miraculously heal anymore, He only heals through doctors now. Although I know this to be untrue - it just isn't in scripture, and God certainly removed my husband's brain tumor! - it was very hard to hear. I became critical of them. How dare they put God in a box that says 'doctors only'! My God is bigger than any box!

      So we prayed for my healing, and God gave us encouragement from my brothers and sisters, so many scriptures, everything I needed to strengthen my faith and not worry. I knew that my God would heal me. I didn't know if He would take the tumor, as He had with Dave, or if He would use the surgeon. At that point it didn't matter. We went ahead with the medical aspects, but I told my doctor about the miracle God had given us when He took away Dave's pituitary tumor, leaving behind no scar tissue or trace. We discussed my miracle.

     This whole journey started with severe stomach pain in the appendix area. I could barely walk, and was certain my appendix was about to burst! They did every test imaginable and could find no physical reason for that pain. My appendix was fine, and I have nothing else in that area. There was simply no reason physically for my pain. One of the tests was a CT-scan, which revealed a mass on my kidney. They did an MRI to figure out what was the mass, and it looked like a tumor that was probably cancer. 1.2cm. About the size of a dime. A dime! Renal cell carcinoma does not have symptoms, certainly not the pain I was experiencing. This dime size tumor was clearly not the cause of my pain. If not for that pain, I'd never have known about the cancer, at least not until it had grown so invasive as to affect other organs.  The doctor told me that renal cell carcinoma does not respond to chemo or radiation.  The only way to get rid of it is to cut it out.  

     We prayed for God to take my tumor, and we scheduled the surgery.  On the day before, the doctor did an additional ultrasound to make sure the tumor was still there.  How blessed I was to be given a Christian surgeon, who took our faith seriously!  The tumor was still there, and he removed it the next day.  He also did a little exploratory surgery to see if he could find the cause of my intense pain.  He found nothing.  I am absolutely convinced my Father caused that pain to get me into the doctor so the tumor would be found.

      I was left with kind of a dilemma.  I knew that God could, and did, miraculously heal.  He had done it for my husband.  Yet, He chose not to take my tumor.  Why?  Was my faith not strong enough?  Did I do something wrong?  I've learned it was neither of those things.  I've learned that God answers prayer the way He does for His glory, for my benefit, and to benefit those with whom I come into contact.  In this case, it was for my benefit, and the benefit of my doctors.  My Dr. is a practicing Christian.  We brought him with us on our faith journey for my healing, and were able to share with him freely the things our Lord had taught us, and the scriptures that so spoke to our hearts.  

     As for my benefit, through this He showed me my own hypocrisy, and softened my heart toward His other children.  You see, a pastor I know was diagnosed with cancer some months before mine was found.  At church one Sunday, Deacons gathered around him and prayed.  They prayed for the doctors to have wisdom, for the surgery to go well, for recovery to be swift.  None of them actually prayed for God to take away the cancer and heal the pastor.  We were fresh from the Lord's miraculous removal of my husband's brain tumor.  So, I began to judge this man in my heart.  Why didn't he have enough faith to ask God to heal him?  Why didn't the Deacons?  Where o where was his FAITH???  Turns out, I am not his judge.  I don't get to decide whether or not he has faith.  His journey is his, and my journey is mine.  I had been guilty of the same spirit those people showed who told me God only uses doctors to heal.  I had put my God in a box labeled 'faith healing only', and He doesn't belong in a box!

     Please don't misunderstand.  In NO WAY was this a punishment!  It was a lesson in who God is!  If God takes away your illness, it is God who heals.  If God uses doctors to take away your illness, it is STILL God who heals!  If your illness is ongoing, have faith and see your doctor;  it is always and only God who heals!  I'll tell you the story of my husband's tumor in another blog.  His story is why I'm advocating you see a doctor.  Short version, we were able to witness to his doctor when the 3rd MRI revealed that God had removed his tumor and left no scar tissue.  The doctor could not believe it had happened, reviewed all the old MRIs to make sure the clean one was actually my husband's head, and told us this kind of tumor never ever resolved (re-absorbed into the body).  Removal of the tumor benefited my husband's and my faith, and showed the power of God to the doctor.  My surgery benefited my husband's and my faith, changed my attitude toward my spiritual family, and increased the faith of my doctor.  

A Little Bit of Faith

One of the sweetest scriptures the Lord directed me to during my cancer journey was Mark 9:20-29:

'And they brought the boy unto Him. And when the spirit saw Him, straightway he tore the boy; and he fell on the ground and wallowed about foaming. And He asked his father, "How long is it ago since this came unto him?" And he said, "From childhood. And oftentimes it hath cast him into the fire and into the waters to destroy him; but if thou canst do any thing, have compassion on us and help us." Jesus said unto him, "If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth." And straightway the father of the child cried out and said with tears, "Lord, I believe; help Thou mine unbelief!" When Jesus saw that the people came running together, He rebuked the foul spirit, saying unto him, "Thou dumb and deaf spirit, I charge thee, come out of him and enter no more into him." And the spirit cried, and rent the boy sorely and came out of him; and he was as one dead, insomuch that many said, "He is dead." But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him up, and he arose. And when He had come into the house, His disciples asked Him privately, "Why could not we cast him out?" And He said unto them, "This kind can come forth by nothing but by prayer and fasting."'
Two days before I was diagnosed with cancer, my husband and I began a fast. We didn't have a specific reason to fast, we were simply impressed that this was the time. The cancer diagnoses came as a shock, as I'm sure it does to most folks. And then begins the crisis of faith. I'd seen the Lord take away my husband's brain tumor, and somehow it was easier to have faith for him than to have faith for me. I knew God could heal, does heal. But I only had a little bit of faith that He would do it for me.

And then the Lord gave me this scripture. Jesus' reaction to the father was pretty amazing. Jesus didn't fuss the man for not having perfect faith, or complete faith, or enough faith. The guy had just a little faith. There were a whole lot of days when I had just a little faith. It amazed me that Jesus didn't make the guy jump through faith hoops and judge him on the effort. Or tell him to come back when he figured out how to have more faith! Jesus accepted the faith the guy had, small though it was, and healed his son.

Jesus did fuss his disciples for their lack of faith, and they probably had more faith than that father. But the father did something that apparently the disciples had forgotten. He gave what little faith he had to Jesus, and leaned on Jesus to do the rest. What does prayer and fasting do, effectively? For that is what Jesus said was necessary for the disciples to have healed the child. Prayer and fasting focus us on God and our need for Him. There is no room for pride or arrogance when we are on our knees, and our bellies are empty. There is no room for self-sufficiency. Prayer and fasting magnify our dependence on God. We don't come away from it thinking 'well, I'll just take care of this myself'.  We come away from it knowing that we can depend on God, for He is ever faithful, never changing in His love toward us.

TRUSTING GOD

Two scriptures have come to mean a great deal to me in recent days. The first is, "...but if You can do anything, take pity on us and help us!" And Jesus said to him, " 'If You can?' All things are possible to him who believes." Immediately the boy's father cried out and said, "I do believe; help my unbelief."(1) The second is, "God is not a man, that He should lie, nor a son of man, that He should repent; has He said, and will He not do it? Or has He spoken, and will He not make it good?..."(2)

There are things I know to be true, promises in scripture for some pretty amazing things, at least by human standards. I have seen God keep His promises and do miraculous things, like heal my husband by removing his brain tumor. Yet I am 'counseled' that "God doesn't do that anymore"! Having witnessed God do great things, I still find myself saying to my God "IF You can do anything". Perhaps it is better put "IF You want to?". Why do I let the murmuring of no faith affect MY faith? Of course God is sovereign. Does His sovereignty negate His promises? If God is God, that answer has to be NO. Because God is God, it must be that He chooses how He keeps His promises, not IF He keeps His promises. God is not a man, that He should lie.

(1) Mark 9:22-24, (2) Numbers 23:19

Forgiveness: it's like a car wreck....

I've been thinking about forgiveness lately in ways I never before considered it. I've had a lot to forgive. Things I'd heard a thousand times finally clicked...I'm a little slow. I am bought with a price.(1) I am a bond servant of Jesus Christ.(2) I've heard this – and read it – at least a few hundred times, and I understand the doctrines. Jesus paid my purchase price, and that gift which I through faith received is my salvation. How amazing is God's grace that doesn't stop there, but steps past calling me slave to call me daughter? It was only recently, when I began thinking about the master/servant, father/daughter relationship, that I began to understand forgiveness.

I was an insurance adjuster for ten years, so it made sense to me in insurance terms. If Joe without insurance hits my car, I have damage. Joe without insurance owes me for the damage to my car. If I go to MY insurance company and MY insurance company pays for my car to be fixed, after I take it to the body shop and have it repaired I no longer have a damaged car. Joe without insurance no longer owes ME for the damage to my car. He owes the one who paid to fix it, ie my insurance company. My insurance company is responsible to collect their money from Joe without insurance, and I can get on with my life and forget Joe ever damaged my car. I am made whole, at least my car is whole. When Jesus saved me, He gave me all things pertaining to life and Godliness.(3) He fixed my broken pieces, made me whole. He became the father I never had, my defender, my protector, my savior, my friend.

Things started to make sense when I realized there were people who sinned against me, and those sins against me damaged me. Jesus gave me what I needed to fix those damages. He made me whole. He became both my insurance company, in that He paid for my damages, and my body (soul) shop, in that He fixed me. Because I am made whole, and I no longer have damage, therefore there is no longer a debt owed to me by those people who sinned against me. Rather, they owe a debt to my Master, the one who paid for and fixed the damages done to me by the sins they committed against me. They owe a debt to Jesus for their sins against me. I realized that whenever a person sins against me they damage me, and Jesus is always faithful to fix the damage their sins against me cause. I've known Him 32 years, and that has always been the case. He always makes me whole. That is not to say that I always see myself as being whole. I had to think about that. I realized I've carried anger toward those who've sinned against me as though they still owed a debt to me for the damage they'd done to me. As though I could actually collect something from them for the damage they'd done to me. As though I had not already been repaired. I have been holding people accountable to me for a debt for which I have already been paid.

It's taken a long time to see myself as whole, and in a real sense I'm still learning. First, I had to ask myself some very basic things, go back to my beginning and examine the foundation of my beliefs. Is God God? What does that mean? Well, that God is the same yesterday, today and forever.(4) That God is not a man that He should lie, nor a son of man, that He should repent; has He said, and will He not do it? Or has He spoken, and will He not make it good?(5) I realized I'd put God in a very small box. Had I taken a marker to my Bible, and crossed out all the things I thought God didn't do anymore because of "whatever" reason, half my Bible would've been marked out! Next, I had to figure out who I am in Christ. I had help, a very good book by Neil T. Anderson entitled... drumroll... "Who I Am In Christ". I highly encourage this read, no matter how long you've known the Lord.

(1) 1 cor 6:20, (2) Gal 1:10, (3) 2 Peter 1:3, (4) Heb 13:8, (5) Num 23:19